The Maw: what's new in PC games this week?
SWAT Commander, Space Sprouts, The Last Of Us and maw
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OK you gutless punks, you've had this coming for a long time and now, you're gonna get it. Time to pay the piper, you miserable freaks. Oh, excuse me! I should explain. We've been doing some research into boosting site engagement, and it turns out the quickest way to engage people is to abuse and threaten them. We've also been reading up on seduction techniques - frankly, I wanted to try these out first, but the genAI poltergeist in my phone camera keeps misidentifying my nudes as Edvard Munch's The Scream, and Sotheby's now claim I owe them 120 million dollars. Anyway, here's what's new in PC games this week.
On Monday March 31st, a choice of yeeting yourself over London's skyline in STORROR Parkour Pro, or solving physics puzzles aboard a solarpunk starship in Space Sprouts. On Tuesday 1st April, the release of melancholy magical forest adventure Koira. On Wednesday 2nd April, please ready your wits for moody scenery-painter LiDAR Exploration Program and Wargaming's free-to-play mech-botherer Steel Hunters (pictured in header). On Thursday 3rd April, please gird your loins for sprawling murder-fable The Last Of Us Part II Remastered and emoji Death Star shmupper Shooper Nova. And on Friday 4th April, a choice of 40-minute 4xing in Hyper Empire, big map tower defence in Gnomes, deck-building auto-battling in Commander Quest, and door-kicking squad-wrangling in the free SWAT Commander Prologue.
There's another game I should have included here? Yeah, that's just what I thought you'd say, you scurvy disgrace. Put it in the comments thread, why don't you, and we might mention it in our latest weekly news liveblog. Have a good week, and be sure to click on some ads while you're here, eh? Those Sotheby's people aren't backing down.
WILD WILD WEDNESDAY
WikiwikiwikiwikiwEED THE MAW.I'm not sure how "Sekiro with guns" Samurai Unicorn made its way on to my wishlist, and I get the feeling I'm late to the party, but it undoubtedly a thing that exists and you might find interesting. Am I doing the Maw right, Edwin?
TUESDAYS WITH MAWRIE
This was Jack Lemmon's final TV role, apparently. I loved him in The Great Race. Nonetheless, we must FEED THE MAW.Satisfactory is getting another big update with a photo mode, autoconnecting blueprints and branching hypertube networks, amongst other things. Why this lust for post-1.0 enhancement, Satisfactory? You were already quite satisfactory enough! Please learn to love your limits.
If you're still pining for the irradiated wastelands after S.T.A.L.K.E.R. 2, MMO FPS Pioner (sic) may scratch that itch. I would probably avoid scratching yourself in an irradiated wasteland, mind you. This trailer's from a while back - I don't believe we've covered it before.
MONDAZED AND CONFUSED
For no particular reason, we're doing movie puns this week. FEED THE MAW.